


Rage

by Miss_Dyana



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: (for the last episode), Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotions, F/M, Mild Language, Missing Scene, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Spoilers, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 14:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Dyana/pseuds/Miss_Dyana
Summary: Alice is furious, but there are things even she can't fight.**Big spoilers for the end of season 3**





	Rage

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously though, spoilers for the last episode of season 3 (and mild spoilers for the season in general). Please only read if you're okay with that.

When Alice found out about Gladys coming back to town — to FP, really —, an old but familiar feeling flooded her.

Rage.

She welcomed it like she would have welcomed an old friend. Her rage had followed her around ever since she was a teenager, possibly even longer than that. Maybe since her father had gotten fired from the Blossom factories, or maybe since that bitch Penelope had made that sly comment about South Siders never amounting to anything.

Rage was her main emotion, the one that defined her and the one that drove her. When she lost control, she went blind, destroying everything around her, hurting all those she cared about. Though she would never have admitted it out loud, she secretly believed it was what had led to the destruction of her family. It had damaged Polly and Betty more than words could say, and this was something she would never forgive herself for.

But that rage had also gotten her out of the South Side. No matter what her feelings towards that were today, it had given her a better life. It had given her two wonderful daughters, a job that she had loved. A purpose. It had saved her life, not to mention Betty’s, and as far as she was concerned, the worst moments of her life had been the ones when she hadn’t had that rage in her anymore.

In a way, it was easier to be enraged than to be sad.

So, for a brief moment, Alice looked at Gladys’ return through the burning lens of rage.

She could destroy her. Did FP think she was coming back for good? God, she loved the man, but he could be unbelievably naive sometimes, particularly for a former gang leader.

Because love was the second emotion, wasn’t it? Love and rage were the two poles of Alice Cooper. What would, no doubt, end up tearing her apart. The way she destroyed those she loved without looking back, and how devastated she was when she realized she was losing them forever.

Well, not with FP, and not this time.

At least, that’s what she thought at first. But of course, that couldn’t work now, could it? She wasn’t supposed to be angry-Alice. She couldn’t act like that. Fuck Gladys and her timing. Fuck her for coming back to town when she couldn’t even fight her, when she was supposed to act all nice and  _ calm _ .

_ If _ she got her way, she would destroy the bitch.

Destroy the fucking Farm that was coming after her daughter and grandchildren, first, but she’d definitely be next on the list.

Only there simply wasn’t time to do all of that, and she knew it all too well.  _ Technically _ , it wasn’t that bad. Edgar had been more than insistant about taking his relationship with her to the next level, and FP had always been the reason she’d refused. The one good thing in her life right now, as she completely destroyed her relationship with Betty in hopes of saving Polly and the twins, if Polly wasn’t too far gone already.

She didn’t know if she could do it without him. Without knowing he was there, somewhere. Knowing that there was one person who loved her, and whose life she wasn’t currently destroying.

Not that they’d said anything clearly, of course. It wasn’t like them. Well, it was like Farm-her, but she— she wanted to keep things real with him.

Unless, of course, he didn’t want that anymore.

* * *

“Do you love her, FP?”

He avoided meeting her eyes.

“She’s the mother of my children,” he replied, as if that was any sort of answer.

The guilt she’d felt for the longest time for not telling him that Charles was alive resurfaced. Not because she would have wanted him to chose her then. Just because she would have liked him to know. To meet Charles.

The truth was, she couldn’t fully catch his logic anymore. The idea that Hal was Betty and Polly’s father genuinely  _ disgusted _ her. But FP had always wanted a family. Just like her, he’d always wanted the perfect American picture. And even if this was a dream she couldn’t dream anymore, she couldn’t, wouldn’t take that away from him.

Her rage had hurt more than enough people.

Still, she needed to know. She needed  _ hope _ . She needed to think that she could be loved. She would have liked to know it was unconditional, that it would never change, no matter what. She couldn’t ask that of him, though. Of course not. But she could try to get crumbs of the happiness she had thought was awaiting her, once this whole thing was done.

“And me?” He closed his eyes tightly at her question, still refusing to look at her. “Do you love me?”

She was crying. She hated crying. She hated that the walls she’d spent years building had crumbled so completely recently, and she hated being sad. It was so much easier being angry, such a simple defense mechanism.

When he finally looked at her, it was like he was seeing her.  _ Really _ seeing her. Seeing everything they had, everything they’d shared, everything they could be.

That was, no doubt, what hurt the most.

That he saw it all, and still didn’t chose her.

“Doesn’t matter now.”

He was crying too, but he had no way of knowing what he had given her. It wasn’t a yes, sure, but it wasn’t a no either, and she would have to deal with what she was given.

She took a step towards him. There was just one thing she still needed now, so she could keep going. It probably wasn’t a very Farm-Alice thing to do, but she didn’t care.

She kissed him, and for one second, everything was good and perfect. He kissed her back desperately, digging his fingers in her hair as he brought to him, closing his eyes, as though that would let him forget everything that was going on. She did the same. Just so she could pretend that in this world, she had him.

But of course, it didn’t last.

“Alice,” he said, pulling away.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, FP,” she cut him off, her tone probably too bitter. “I’m leaving.”

And just like that, she was gone. But she was taking with her the small part of his heart he’d given to her, and she promised herself to hold on to it until a day when she could, hopefully, do the same for him.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for the fandom and for the ship, so please don't hesitate to leave constructive criticism or any feedback if you feel some things can be improved — or just if you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
